Unlimited JOKE thread

[rgm714]

blond alligator


A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"

The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll catch yourself a big one!"

Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.

Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Laying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.

The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and, frustrated, shouts out, "Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

[hilltown]

[rgm714]

The Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.

"John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

"May I ask what the turkey did?"
--------------------------------------------

Wanda's dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog. He won't bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances,

talk to my parrot!"

"I REPEAT, DO NOT TALK TO MY PARROT!!!"

When the repairman arrived at Wanda's apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.

The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling.

Finally the repairman couldn't contain himself any longer and yelled, "Shut up, you stupid ugly bird!" To which the parrot replied,

"Get him, Spike!"

[R Vijay]

 www.mytoos.com 
_________________

[realgeorge]

I hope you will enjoy this is a list of actual Church Bulletin and Church Service Bloopers:
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* Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.
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* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
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* For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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* Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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* Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's use the program herself and has been growing like crazy!
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* The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
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* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
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* Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
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* Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor.
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* Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mother's Club. All ladies wishing to become "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
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* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
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* The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
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* Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will come forward and do so.
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* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
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* Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
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* The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 p.m. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
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* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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* 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
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* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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* The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy."
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* Today... Christian Youth Fellowship Sexuality Course, 8 p.m. Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
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* During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when A.B. Doe supplied our pulpit.
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* The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
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* The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.
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* The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet": in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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* The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
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* Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
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* Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan in preparing for the girth of their first child.
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* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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* The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
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* "A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.
_________________
If you confess with your mouth, "Jesus Is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead you will be saved. For, Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved. Rom 10

[Deborah]

Very funny, RealGeorge

Deb+

[rgm714]

JOKE~
An American, a Spaniard and a Frenchman are walking on a beach when they discover a genie's lamp. The American rubs the lamp and the genie appears in a puff of blue smoke. She announces to the trio that they will receive a total of three wishes, one each, so they should consider their wishes wisely.
The Spaniard is first, and asks the genie to make his country fruitful, his countrywomen beautiful and his traditions preserved. The genie grants the wish.
The Frenchman is second. "I'm sick and tired of my homeland being invaded every half century. I would like an impenetrable wall built to protect my beloved France, one which no one can scale." The genie grants the wish.
The American thinks for a moment, and asks the genie, "I'm curious about this wall. How big is it?" The genie replies, "The wall around France is 150 high and 50 feet thick. It cannot be penetrated from either side, or climbed, and all the French people of the world are safe inside."
"Great," says the American. "Fill it with water."

----------------------------------------------------------




------------------------------------------------------------------

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall near the prescription counter. So the owner asks a clerk, "What's with the guy by the wall?"
"Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough, but I couldn't find any cough syrup, so I had him drink a bottle of laxative."
The owner goes ballistic. "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives!"
"Sure you can! Just look at him; he's afraid to cough!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Three Texas Females..

These three women go down to Mexico one night, get drunk, and

wake up in jail only to find out that they are to be executed in the

morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.



The first one, a brunette, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked

if she has any last words. She says, "I am from the Baylor School of

Divinity, and I believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on

behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens,

so they figure God must not want this woman to die and they let her go.



The second one, a redhead, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I

am from the Texas Tech University School of Law and I believe in the

power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw

The switch and again nothing happens. They figure that the law is on

this woman's side, so they let her go too.



The last one, a blond, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm a Texas Aggie

Electrical Engineer, and I'll tell you right now you ain't gonna electrocute

nobody if you don't connect them two wires

[webmaster]

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired,
just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window
to catch some sleep.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer,
you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says,
"Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer,
I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment
unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question : "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill
and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay" says the lawyer, your turn.

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references,
no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net
and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends
and co-workers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.
The blonde says, "Thank you !" and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks :
"Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse,
hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
_________________
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[rgm714]

Post all jokes in this thread - so its easy to find if you’re looking to have a good laugh [webmaster]

JOKE~
A 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!" With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"
Little Mary's mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!"
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."
Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Billy," then turned to Mary and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
(1) you have a dirty mind,
(2) you didn't read your homework, and
(3) one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.




TOP 10 WAYS THAT HANDGUNS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN...
#10 - YOU CAN TRADE AN OLD .44 FOR TWO NEW .22'S.
>#9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE ON THE ROAD.

#8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN, AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.
#7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.
#6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.

#5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.

#4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.

#3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"

#2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.

and, the number one way a handgun is better than a woman.............

#1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN



Woman's Dictionary
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead

[Deborah]

!!!!!!!!

Deb+

[webmaster]

Doctor, "What seems to be the problem?"

Patient, "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I fart all the time."

The Doctor nods, "Hmm."

Patient, "My farts don't stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I fart all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"

"Hmm" says the Doctor,

He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.

The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"

"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test."


_________________
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[rgm714]

Proof Your Not A Kid Anymore
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 600 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 ! ! PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condom and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces, "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You no longer drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that this doesn't apply to you.
Sometimes the truth just hurts.

[pete]

I found one!!!!

rgm714 wrote:

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

Yes it is!

[rgm714]

pete wrote:

I found one!!!! rgm714 wrote: 20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." Yes it is!

i seen that one to Boone's Farms Strawberry Hill

[blsJason]

rgm714 wrote:

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

I used to watch The Weather Channel from the time I was about 9 until I was 15 ... but not anymore.
I do visit the  National Weather Service  website occasionally, though.
_________________
Poetworld subscriber 2002-2012.
Don't buy Clearwire!

[rgm714]

GOLF

Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies,
"Not too bad. I've had some problemswith my swing, but think I've
got that going right now."

Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to
stop playing for awhile and not think about it. Then, the next time I play,
seems to be all right."
Tiger says, "You play golf?" Wonder says, "Oh, yes, I've been playing for years."
Woods says, "But you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Wonder replies, "I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call
to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball toward him. Then, when
I get to where the balls lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the
fairway, and again I play the ball toward his voice."
"But how do you putt?" asks Woods. "Well," says Stevie, " I get my caddy to lean
down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground, and I
just play the ball toward his voice." Woods asks, "What's your handicap?"
Stevie says, "Well, I'm a scratch golfer." Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie,
"We've got to play a round sometime."
Wonder replies, "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money,
and never play for less than $10,000 a hole."
Woods thinks about it and says, "OK, I'm for that. When would you like to play?"
Stevie says, "Pick a night."

------------------------------------------------------

RELIGIOUS JOKE

John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent.
On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John, he was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore. They decided to try and
convert John to be a Catholic.
They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said,
"You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a Catholic."
The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved. The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came, and just at supper time, when the neighborhood was setting down to their tuna fish dinner, came the wafting smell of steak cooking on a grill. The neighborhood men could not believe their noses!
WHAT WAS GOING ON?
They called each other up and decided to meet over in John's yard to see if he had forgotten it was the first Friday of Lent? The group arrived just in time to see John standing over his grill with a small pitcher of water.
He was sprinkling some water over his steak on the grill, saying, "You were born a cow, you were raised a cow, and now you are a fish."
-----------------------------------------------------

"Water to Wine"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.
He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

[Corrine]

Quote:

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car. The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny. The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

_________________
Freedomlist.com (March 1, 2000 - 2013)



Take a walk through my Security Garden

[rgm714]

Texas quotes

In Texas, we're proud to have the best politicians that money can buy. For
your delight and edification, here are some fine quips and quotes from
some of our most notable politicians. The following are actual quotes from
(actual) Texas politicians:

1. "It just makes good sense to put all your eggs in one basket."
Texas Rep. Joe Salem speaking on an amendment requiring all revenues to go
into the state treasury.

2. "Lemme give ya' a hypothetic." Texas Rep. Renal Rosson.

3. "Ain't nothin' in the middle of the road but yellow stripes and dead
armadillos." Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower.

4. "And now, will y'all stand and be recognized?" Texas House Speaker Gib
Lewis to a group of handicapped people in wheelchairs.

5. "Dallas salutes a person who can buy a piece of art, but not a person
who can create one." C. Greene.

6. "No thanks, once was enough." Texas Governor Bill Clements, asked if he
had been born again.

7. "Oh good. Now he'll be bi-ignorant." Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim
Hightower when told that Texas Governor Bill Clements had been studying
Spanish.

8. "I'd just make a little bit of money, I wouldn't make a whole lot."
Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis defending himself against the charge that he
would personally profit from a bill he had introduced.

9. "Well, there never was a Bible in the room." Texas Governor Bill
Clements, asked about repeatedly lying about the SMU football scandal.

10. "I am filled with humidity." Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis.

11. "If ignorance ever goes to $40 a barrel, I want drillin' rights on
that man's head." Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower discussing
then-President George Bush's policies.

12. "If it's dangerous to talk to yourself, it's probably even dicier to
listen" Texas Agriculture Commissioner Jim Hightower.

13. "I move we recess to go outside and throw up." Texas House Speaker Gib
Lewis during a budget hearing.

14. "This is a real competitive business." A gas station owner, when asked
to explain the rapid rise in gasoline prices when Kuwait was invaded.

15. "...idiots, imbeciles, aliens, the insane and women..." Law standing
in Texas until 1918 regulating who could not vote.

16. "It's the sediment of the House that we adjourn." Texas House Speaker
Wayne Clayton.

17. "Let's do this in one foul sweep." Texas House Speaker Wayne Clayton.

18. "This is unparalyzed in the state's history." Texas House Speaker Gib
Lewis.

19. "I want to thank each and every one of you for having extinguished
yourselves this session." Texas House Speaker Gib Lewis.

20. "We'll run it up the flagpole and see who salutes that booger." Texas
House Speaker Gib Lewis.

21. "There's a lot of uncertainty that's not clear in my mind." Texas
House Speaker Gib Lewis.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Blonde vs.Blonde


The blonde police officer tells her, "It's that thing with your
picture on it."
The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her
compact, opens it and sure enough sees herself. She hands the
compact to the blonde cop.
After a few seconds looking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls
her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver
and says, "If you would have told me you were a police officer when
I first pulled you over we could have avoided this whole thing."

[rgm714]

MISSING MONEY AT THE CAR WASH

Bill owns a company that manufactures and installs car wash systems. (Magic Wand Car Wash Systems, just in case you want to buy one.) Bill's company installed a car wash system in Frederick, Md. Now understand that these are complete systems, including the money changer and money taking machines.
The problem started when the new owner complained to Bill that he was losing significant amounts of money from his coin machines each week. He went as far as to accuse Bill's employees of having a key to the boxes and ripping him off. Bill just couldn't believe that his people would do that, so they set up a camera to catch the thief in action. Well, they did catch him on film!

That's a bird sitting on the change slot of the machine.

The bird had to go down into the machine, and back up inside to get to the money!

That's three quarters he has in his beak! Another amazing thing is that it was not just one bird -- there were several working together.

Once they identified the thieves, they found over $4000 in quarters on the roof of the car wash and more under a nearby tree.

[Corrine]

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well.

The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.

Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well.

At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less




NOW --------

Enough of that crap . . .

The donkey later came back and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong and try to cover your butt, it always comes back to bite you.
_________________
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